International Zionist Conspiracy: Even We Can’t Keep Track Of All Our Conspiracies Anymore [satire]

(Via BCF)

- The twenty-first century is a pretty complex place. The world is teeming with more than seven billion souls, with international and domestic crises to manage absolutely everywhere. As you can imagine, the level of International Zionist Conspiracy involvement has never been higher, but the sheer number of events going on at any given time means that sometimes, even we can’t keep track of all our conspiracies.

It wasn’t always that way. Back when we assassinated Lincoln, there couldn't have been more than fifteen or sixteen active conspiracies, tops…

And now, with more than four thousand active plots, depending on how one categorizes them, things have gotten hairy. We nearly messed up on 9/11 by not using bigger planes, but at least the backup plan of having explosives planted in the construction of the Twin Towers back in the early seventies made the collapse happen anyway. Every now and then someone in the Muslim world gets wind of gentile blood used in Jewish matza, and we have to track down who dropped the ball. Our agents work almost around the clock, but recruiting and training more of them presents a serious problem: there are only about 15 million Jews in the world, and we don’t trust anyone else…