Maybelline Introduces Line Of Injectable Makeup To Enhance Appearance Of Internal Organs

(TheOnion) NEW YORK—Saying that women no longer need to settle for plain, drab internal tissue, the cosmetics brand Maybelline introduced a new line of injectable makeup this week to enhance the appearance of wearers’ organs. “With our new injectable makeup options, women can finally have the type of flawless, gorgeous-looking digestive and cardiopulmonary systems they’ve always wanted,” said Maybelline spokesperson Diane Moss, adding that women will soon be able to use a 10cc Maybelline syringe to apply their new set of cosmetics, which currently include a “bold and flirty” line of lung shadow; blood vessel mascara for thicker, longer capillaries; and spleen foundation to cover unsightly blemishes and provide a smooth, even look to the lymphoid organ. “Our selection of over 300 shades of heartstick ensures that women will be able to find the perfect color and level of shimmer to enhance their atria and ventricles for nearly any occasion. And the youthful definition that comes from a quick thoracic injection of pancreas rouge is certain to provide women a boost of confidence before they step out the door each morning.” Moss added that Maybelline would also cater to those women looking for a more natural look by introducing an injectible line of products designed to conceal the fact that they’re even wearing organ makeup at all.